The Resistance

I have a lot on.. in fact a subscriber sent me an email (below) the other day that rattled me a little (ok maybe more than a little), its got me thinking hard on my life, objectives and where I want to go but Jo-Annes last sentence really filled me with gratitude.

Thanks Jo-Anne.

“Hi Kristian

What do you do when you DO relax?

When do you have time to yourself and just do nothing?

Wishing you good luck in your next challenge, you know people out there are
supporting you in your progression endeavours whether we are there or not?

Regards Jo-Anne”

The rest of this year for me is crazy (Malaysia, NZ, Canberra, Sydney) and it reminds me that sometimes I need to say NO more often and FOCUS more on the important stuff (Sydney is important stuff). None of the stuff is bad, but some of it takes me away from the family for longer than I’d like.

But I would like to try and answer Jo-Annes questions and then discuss the resistance.

Sorry, this is a long email but it’s off the cuff and raw me… no make up, no edits 😉

What do you do when you DO relax?

I’m not sure this is truly possible when you have kids. I do feel we didn’t grasp the opportunity of ‘free time’ pre having Mack. However, I’m trying to develop habits of being able to switch off at times (this means not been connected to web, social media, phones etc) as I believe this to be good for your health and soul. Kinda like planned recovery from the GRIND. (Grind is a good thing though).

I have a lot of mentors and one I have bought books and programs from is a guy called Robin Sharma (read The Monk who Sold his Ferrari, The Saint the Surfer & the CEO and The Leader who Had no Title). In one of his latest programs “Productivity Unleashed“, Robin discusses recovering like a professional athlete. So he recommends working in 90 minutes blocks then recover and go again. These blocks are based on scheduling out your day. “What gets scheduled gets done” and when clients hire him the first thing he does is he makes them take Friday off – and that means being ompletely disconnected. Go get some ‘me’ time (by the way, this is not selfish.. everyone needs ‘me’ time to be their best by the way of massage, movies, reading etc).

The basis of this is that our work or projects will expand to the time given to them. So if you know you only had 4 days to get 5 days worth of work in you’d hustle to get it achieved. Robin has found over the years that his high performing clients get more done when they implement this into their lives. He actually recommends working your ass off for 3-4 weeks then taking a week off. I understand this would be near on impossible unless you’re an entrepreneur. By the way this is not shirking the work that needs to get done but teaching you to lift your game and be more productive.

So I’m going to test drive this ‘taking Fridays’ off and hustle hard from Monday to Thursday, Friday ‘OFF’, Saturday is long bike + run off then there’s play time and house chores to be done. Sunday we have markets (food shop, prep food to make week easier), longish family run together, scheduling the following week and then afternoon swim. Before our last trip (and to be honest this formed a part of me relaxing) I would do the Noosa group swim off main beach, then I’d swim back out to Little Cove and meet Charlotte and Mack there. Then spend the rest of the afternoon playing on the beach with Mack and Charlotte.

I also find my other relaxation times are reading before bed and getting up at 4am (yes 4am) making my morning tonic (greens drink + goji juice, VitC, VitD and glutamine) and then having my organic coffee and a good tptherapy self massage session before my training.

I love this time.

Everything is quiet and it is just enjoyable. I know I could also get a lot of work done in this time. So I’ll be testing doing my writing blog posts while having coffee and then get into my rolling. I know this would be a life changing habit.

Want a life changing habit? Early to bed and early to rise will change your life.

So what do I do when I do relax? I read, I roll, I try to switch my mind off from work and give 100% focus and attention (way harder then we think, especially if we haven’t been doing the work) to playing with Mack (the years are going to fly by and I don’t want to have ANY regrets that I didn’t spend enough time with him).

I also find relaxation in building things (like Macks bed project), and some of the things I have done around the house.

Ultimately what I’d do to fully relax and it’s a big priority goal is to also spend at least 1 holiday per year in Bali where we switch off for at least 10 days to fully regenerate. Surfing, training, reading, relaxing and just 100% in tune on quality time with the family.

When do you have time to yourself and just do nothing?

4am, but I can’t just do nothing and I’m not sure I want to. I know I could (and should) ‘meditate’ or visualise where I want to go (must develop this habit) but that wouldn’t be doing nothing.. but I’m not sure you mean nothing. I think you mean ‘me’ time?!

So my me time, is 4am, it’s predominantly my training time (a lot of it is solo these days) and that’s about it. In fact one of my biggest goals is to continually make sure Charlotte gets some ‘me’ time. While us Dads are important, at this age being a mum is literally a 24/7 gig. Working two businesses and training for Ironman it is easy to fall into the trap of not having enough time (to give to others especially as I’m the income earner). This is bullshit and I have to work hard on being more productive, creating rules (working smart but also hard, doing lunches, dinners and washing up, getting to bed early so I can get up at 4am and train before they wake, then having Mack and Daddy time while Charlotte gets some ‘me’ time and can do some training) and having a no excuses policy on myself.

In fact this is the resistance.. oh I’m tired – the dishes can wait or whatever thing I want to put off and if I give into the resistance, well I then strengthen the ‘lazy’ part of my brain and tomorrow it becomes easier to give in to the resistance. It’s a life long battle this one and only a battle I have recently grasped that I was really at war.

“Pushing yourself away from comfort requires constant vigilance and negotiating with that little part of the brain that tries to sabotage us” Tynan

You know the most important day is today. Not yesterday (it was then, but now it’s gone forever) and it’s not tomorrow because tomorrow’s results are based up today.

Can I really waste today?

I have big hairy audacious goals and I admit some of them I could have ‘easily’ achieved years ago had I not coasted because of the daily resistance. Life is short and I have too much inside of me too keep to myself. There is much value to be given. You ready?

See to me being a Triathlon coach is so much more than just writing a plan. It’s an all or nothing. It’s coaching to have a profound and positive impact on the athletes I get the opportunity to work with (and hopefully many others via blogs, articles etc). This covers so many different areas… So I aim to be well versed in things that impact on performance (training, recovery, psychology, nutrition, work and life).

Being a top performer in ANY field takes work. No it takes DAMN HARD WORK that we should learn to love and relish.

“Hard work is a non-negotiable ingredient of any big goal” Tynan

The road I have chosen and the road you should choose… isn’t all marble smooth hot-mix (though sometimes we get some and it’s so so nice). It’s bumpy, has rocks, cracks and filled with pot holes and ‘failure’ but you know what?!

The easy road aint so easy either. In fact I really believe the ‘easy’ road is much harder then the ‘hard work road’. Mediocrity sucks. It’s a disease and one you want to run from like the plague. We are humans, not sheep.

The hard work road is where we find the opportunities to realise our potential. Failure isn’t bad, it’s where we learn the most. We also need to realise that hard work is the only option.

“Success doesn’t come to you…you go to it.” Marva Collins

Please … Don’t search for the easy button (you’ll regret it) fight the internal resistance to coast.

Thank you Jo-Anne for you email. It means alot.


P.S. This post was written for me as much as it was for you.

P.P.S. If you’re racing Ironman Melbourne, I have a coaching opportunity for you. Email me to
find out more, but you have to be fully committed, you have to have big goals and be willing
to get them. I’m opening up a limited amount of coaching spots.

“Thank you to my lovely coach, Kristian who got me here. I would never have made it
without you. I am a much better athlete under your guidance.” Wendy Wilcox