Yesterday I turned 35 and I wanted to share with you some things I have learned in my time on this earth and hopefully you can get something out of some of them.
1. That if you want momentum, then you need to take action and action daily. After a while it feels like what was a struggle is just on autopilot. It’s like these blog posts and emails I have been sending out. Going to hospital a month a go quite potentially could have been one of those things you know.. like “the best thing that could have happened to me”. Priorities got reset, rules are being implemented. Are things on autopilot yet? No, but the momentum is gathering and I have some newfound energy.
2. Fear is more often then not irrational thinking and false evidence appearing real. Most of the things we fear never come to fruition.
3. Being persistent is a required trait to get where you want or to achieve cool things. In snowboarding I was persistent to learn a new trick. I’d repeat over and over until I got it. Sometimes wasting a lot of film for the photographer (pre digital age), but I’d get the shot. This trait put me into good stead on many other aspects of my life.
4. That you need to dream big. Lately I have been reading a great book titled the 10xRule by Grant Cardone. I love how he is not afraid to go against conventional wisdom. In the book, he talks about setting goals that are 10x bigger than what you would. For example, say your goal was to earn $100,000, why not make it $1,000,000? Cardone’s reasoning is that you’d be a lot better falling short on the million dollar goal than falling short on the hundred grand goal. He has a point. [Edit] and another book that is potentially life changing is Going Pro by Steven Pressfield.
5. That life is too short to drink cheap beer or wine or crap coffee. I’d much rather spend $70 on a case of exceptional boutique brewery beer and spend time enjoying it. Our love of wine is developing too and since we don’t drink much alcohol, when we do it has to be good.
6.That being a parent is epically challenging but the most rewarding thing ever in life and nothing comes close to the smiles you receive from your own kids or heartbreaking as their turned down bottom lip. This shit is priceless.
7. That you should do the opposite of what the majority is doing.
8. That you need to work 10x harder and that stuff takes 10x longer than originally thought. I have found this to be true and it’s being rammed home thanks to the 10xRule book mentioned above.
9. That the world is not out to get you, and when you go to work on yourself your world changes for the better. When I was younger every time something would go wrong I’d be thinking someone was out to get me. This was major lack mentality. Like getting sick every year (this always happens to me… thought process… well if you think it always happens, then the likelihood is quite bloody high that it will). The short of this is the minute we stop playing the victim and take self responsibility is the minute your world can become awesome. Man it’s made a difference to my life.
10. That it ain’t all sunshine and rainbows – you will get knocked down, run over, beat up, laughed at, ridiculed and it only matters if you don’t get back up or keep moving forward.
11. You can’t be everything to everyone. I’m not going to make everyone happy and a lot of people aren’t going to agree with what I say. And that is OK with me.
12. That ‘selfishness’ is not as evil as the popular usage of the word dictates. I highly recommend reading Ayn Rand’s work and a small book tilted – The Virtue of Selfishness. If I selfishly look after myself so I can better look after my family. If I selfishly work hard at learning and applying to better my life and that of my family is that selfish? But in doing so, I also provide value to others.
13. If you can figure out the why, motivation comes easy.
14. Talent only gets you so far. Belief in oneself and hard work will provide the pathway.
15. That making mistakes and failing is a good thing. Don’t be scared to screw up from time to time. These provide us with valuable lessons that can improve our lives.
16. That we shouldn’t be so serious all the time. Let go, enjoy yourself and have some fun.
17. You need to believe in you. Without this, not much is possible and as Natalie Cook mentions in her book “Go Girl” (very hard to find, but worth the search) , the time to believe is when you have no reason to.
18. That to be world class in anything you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable – that it takes consistent work and it doesn’t get easier. Going fast in triathlon is uncomfortable. People think that when you get fitter it gets easier to go fast. Going faster means your displacing more air and this is not comfortable. Fitness just puts you in a position or opportunity to go faster. Learning to deal with uncomfortableness is the secret.
19. That spending a year to court my wife was time well spent. I have been with Charlotte since I was 21. Yep, that makes it 14 years.. “lucky me”. Love is great and we all need some. If you don’t have any love in your life, work out why and get some.
20. Health. It’s freaking important. We only have one body, fuel it well with good food and clean water. Also be careful about the thoughts and images you put in your head. Understand that most media is negative and can only make you feel that way.
21. That if you want to succeed in something then your going to need a burning desire to do so. You have to be willing to do the stuff that others aren’t. It’s simple as that. It doesn’t matter who you are, it doesn’t matter how great the odds stacked against you, because if you have an indomitable will to succeed, a positive attitude, a never-quit disposition, and the ability to work hard at implementing proven systems, you can do what ever it is you set your mind on.
22. That I have had to work hard to be more patient and extend the length of my ‘fuse’ confrontations are just a waste of time and energy. If I have wronged someone, then it’s best to apologise and fix the situation.
23. Via Craig Ballantyne (a mentor of mine)
It will all be over soon.” – This servers me in both good times and in bad.
In hard times, such as bad days, troubled times, or intense physical effort or discomfort, I know that it will all be over soon. A small amount of suffering now will be forgotten later when I will enjoy the rewards of my work.
And in good times, I will remember that life is short, and I must make things count now, and no matter how good things are going I must never let myself become soft and lazy, because I have too much to accomplish in such a short time.
24. Where I am right now is a direct consequence of my actions and choices up until this point. No matter if good or bad shit happens, it’s my responsibility. There is no one to blame but me.
25. That you need to surround yourself with people who are where you want to be and also those on the path with you. You need to distance yourself from those who want you to maintain the status quo and pull you back down into the bucket with the other crabs. You have to be willing to fight for your dreams against a lot of negativity.
26. That the best life comes when we operate from the philosophy of trading value for value.
27. That you need to read these two books: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom – both books provide important life lessons. In fact, you should be reading books as often as you can – there is immense knowledge to be gained from the written word. Got no money to spend on books? Get a library card.
28. Traveling creates wonderful experiences and the opportunity to meet new friends. I met Charlotte in Canada traveling (snowboarding) and have memories that will be with me for live.
29. We all have excuses that stop us from our potential. All of these excuses are crap. An old friend had this quote “Excuses are like assholes and they all stink”.
30. That you need to be able to forgive yourself to move on. We all fuck up at times and that is life. Learn the lessons, forgive yourself and keep moving forward.
31. Eating cheap shitty food is a false economy. You’re going to pay for it somewhere. Be it the farmer or the doctor. You can have all the money in the world later on in life, but it won’t be able to buy back your health.
32. That you need mentors in your life. People who have done what you want to achieve. People who can help guide you and keep you accountable.
33. That you have to pay to play. Investing in yourself, is never a bad investment.
34. That there is much much more to learn.
35. I have learned that I am powerful beyond measure and that you are too!
There you have it. If you like this please give me a present and click the “like” button and /or leave some comments.
Be Bold and Make Things Happen
Kristian “still learning” Manietta